Give Me Back My Email!!!!!

  Gather around loyal followers, it's time for the next exciting installment of I-TG33k! I am THE I-TG33k, Denny Clinton, here to share another tale of technical turmoil (Boom!!!! alliteration punks!!!! like a real author and shit......) .

    Once again, I'd been toiling away in my G33k Sanctum when the G33k signal shone across the sky (Ok, I was sitting in the shop surfing Facebook and the phone rang..... see, my dramatic phrasing sounds way cooler, doesn't it?) On the line was one of my smaller clients, the whole place consists of 4 people..... 3 insanely attractive Milfs ( c'mon.... everyone knows what that stands for) and the boss, a little old guy who could be mistaken for Doc from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves . 
Here, a little visual reference for ya:

    Now picture him in an ill-fitting suit with a smug grimace on his face constantly and you'll have a fairly accurate assessment. So, anyway this tiny client is having issues with their router, it keeps losing connection and they have to power cycle it once every 30 minutes or so..... maybe that's because their router is older than the building their office is in!
  I do what I do best.... grab equipment from my stock and head out to sell/install it at a significant price increase (Don't Judge Me!!!!! A guy has to eat! Which I do often.....and in great quantities!) 

     I arrive at the office of these medical.... professionals I guess..... I'm not real sure what they do.... they aren't a doctors office or in sales... they're more like an honor society or something..... I don't get it but hey they pay promptly and hardly ever question prices... I go desk to desk and tell everyone.....EVERYONE face to face that the internet is going down until I'm finished with the router install. EVERYONE acknowledges this and (I assume) understands that they're on coffee break for a bit.
    So, I get busy with the switch over, I did my homework ahead of time and had pre-configured the new router to make the transition seamless and quick (If you're wondering... I damn near dislocated my shoulder patting myself on the back). As expected everything went great, new router comes online quickly and I'm on my way out the door and something tells me to check out a couple of the machines just to be thorough and by something, I mean the Sindy the Secretary.....a gorgeous blonde who is far too intelligent for her position there.
     So, to appease her (Like I said these ladies are HOT! Bossman Doc knows how to hire staff, I'll give him that.) I lean over and click onto the internet and naturally..... nothing happens..... Whathefuk????? that shit shouldn't happen I did everything by the numbers.... set the IP to mirror the old router, enabled dhcp....aaaand it hits me....Static IP.... So  back to the Server corner I go (this tiny office doesn't have enough space for a water cooler let alone a server ROOM) I'm busy fixing the settings and pulling the trigger on the reboot to fix this mess  and I hear it.... the *clomp* *clomp*  *clomp*  of  dwarf feet stomping my way. I try my best to keep my head down and stare with as much focus as I can muster at the monitor in front of me hoping Bossman Doc with pass me by. I quickly realize that' s not the gonna happen as he taps me on the shoulder with one of his sausage fingers. I stand up and turn around... JEEZUS he's like 6 inches from me!   Before I can get a greeting out his little pudgy dwarven face turns bright red and he blurts out "YOUNG MAN! I'm the BOSS HERE and I'm VERY BUSY!!!!" (Now, Doc here has been in charge since I took these folks on as clients well over 3 years ago... I fucking know who you are dickhead) he continued his tirade  "  I'm in the middle of VERY IMPORTANT work!" (Work you're not supposed to be doing yet asshole!) and with the final roar of his dialog I nearly laughed in his dwarf face " NOW Give Me Back My Email!!!!!!" (Goddamn it Bossman Doc! you caught me red-handed..... this was all a ploy to steal your email! .... I'm sure this Mental Fucking Giant makes well over 4 times my annual salary....) 
     As if on cue, I hear the familiar sounds of machines coming online and the sounds of  Email populating from Bossman Doc's office. I clear my throat and look Doc in the eye... all color drains from his face and a nervous grin cracks his typical grimace... He slaps me on the shoulder and says "Ha! never doubted ya for a minute..."  

I Fucking hate dwarves.....



as always: Until Next Time: M3G@BYT3 ME, Bitches!





***Disclaimer: Doc is owned solely by Walt Disney Corporation, the image is used without consent, kiss my ass Mickey Mouse!   
Also, I don't hate real dwarves ... or little people or midgets or what the fuck ever you're supposed to call them now....Y'know what.... fuck them too!!!!.